The honest truth....

So this post is just to express my feelings and thoughts about life over the last month or so...I love my daughter very much and she's been so fun to watch grow and get bigger every day....but I'm going to be honest....being a mom is hard work. I know that most people are going to laugh at that and say, "duh," but I didn't know how much work it really was until I had one of my own. I wouldn't change it for the world, but the last month has been incredibly challenging. I could just sit here and pretend that everything is hunky dory and I have the perfect baby, but the truth is, that she's a high maintenance baby and is a lot of work! She cries a lot and it's so hard to try and figure out what's wrong with her when all of her cries sound the same and she can't talk to you... :-( I sometimes feel so overwhelmed and often call my mom in tears because I feel so inadequate and don't know what to do.

Breastfeeding has been incredibly challenging as well. I feel like I would rather give birth naturally again 10 times over then to face the challenges and pains of breastfeeding. The hardest part is that I know how good breast milk is for my little darling, and yet, I find myself wanting to quit it all the time! I feel so bad for having those thoughts, but I do...and often. Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only one who feels this way, but then I think, there's no way...other women have to feel this way too. It's still a daily struggle, but I'm still trying and that's what matters! It's been nice to talk to my mother, Liz and Jenna and hear their experiences and struggles as well. It makes me feel some hope!

Anyways, enough of my whining...I really do feel blessed to be this little girls mommy and every day that she grows and changes makes me happy and sad all at the same time! Juan is a very good father and I love seeing him with her...it's incredibly endearing. Everyone I've talked to says that it gets easier after about a month or a month and a half and I look forward to getting into a routine and figuring Hadlie's wants out more and more every day. I can't believe that it's almost been a month already since she was born...that thought alone makes me want to cry...it's going by way too fast!

 She loves sleeping on mommy like this! LOL...she looks so small compared to her mommy when she lays on me like that! So precious!

This is little Miss Hadlie on a really good day where she just chilled with her daddy and was content and not crying for a least an hour! LOL...she's so stinkin adorable! And I love the outfit that Aunt Sarah got for her!